The Easy As Pie Parenting Method works because your children are no longer receiving punishments for negative behavior. Children learn that tasks to earn their Pieces back are really easy, so they willingly do them.
Why?
It works because your children are getting something pleasant and they aren’t spending all of their time to figure out how to get out of punishments. Children love having a complete Pie, because it means they have access to all of their Motivators.
Does this mean they’re going to spend the entire day playing the computer because their Pie is Whole? No. It means that they have “access.” If you have a rule of only 60 minutes of computer play per day, that is still in effect. They just need to have a Whole Pie to play.
I’ll go into this in much more detail later in these blog posts, but with Easy As Pie, everyone else in the family helps a child earn their missing Pieces. This is radically different parenting!
It’s not the child’s responsibility to figure out how to earn their Pieces back. It’s the responsibility of the parents and the siblings. Pretty soon your children figure out that their siblings are going to help them when they have lost Pieces. This develops teamwork between family members. Siblings are going out of their way to help each other.
Another reason that makes this system so special and effective is that your children receive an immediate visual trigger (magnetic Pie Piece) of an unacceptable behavior.
If you think about the six words on the Pie Pieces—Respectful, Responsible, Helpful, Cheerful, Kind and Honest—they are difficult concepts to learn. There are hundreds of behaviors that are defined as Respectful (or any of the other virtues).
This is why it takes so long to teach these virtues. Every time your child earns back their Pie Piece, they are increasing their understanding of the behaviors that define each virtue.
Traditional Parenting
With traditional parenting, when we impose our authority or take them away from playing, our children feel yanked. They don’t like it and they just get mad. When this happens day-in, day-out, week after week, children have a continuous low level of anger building in their body, very similar to a pot simmering on the stove. It doesn’t take too much heat to have things boiling out of control.
Easy As Pie Is Different
With Easy As Pie, when a child does a behavior you don’t want in your home, a Pie Piece is moved and the behavior is labeled. Let’s use the Kind Piece as an example.
Your child trips their sibling and loses their Kind Piece. Since it’s the entire family’s job to help them get their Piece back, everyone is looking for a way for that child to be kind. The child can apologize and give a hug, can pick up a book off the floor, put a few dishes in the dishwasher, pull some ingredients out of the refrigerator to help you cook … the list is endless. As the child’s understanding of “Kind” behaviors grows, they start to use them on their own.
Easy As Pie works because there are no more punishments, discipline or harsh consequences. Your children relax. You relax because you are setting your children up for success.
Your Reward
I’m going to take a wild leap and suggest that you most likely are not reading this because you want to be a better parent. This is neither good nor bad—there’s no judgment. You just want your children to behave! And what you’ve been doing up to this point isn’t working.
Easy As Pie will help you experience a dramatic change for you and your children. It even shocked me—because this parenting method is so radically different.
All of us are pleasure driven. We do tasks—even unpleasant tasks—because we derive a benefit or positive reward. It’s not always money or candy. Sometimes it’s just having a clean kitchen or bedroom. Sometimes it’s deciding that as soon as I clean out my email inbox, I can go play on Facebook. Your children are the same. The things that are important to them motivate them to choose their behaviors.
This Parenting Method creates the ultimate positive reward for you! As your children’s behavior changes positively, you are receiving a positive reward— peaceful, pleasant interactions with your family and maintaining your sanity.
Your kids stop being as angry with you, and when they do get upset, they cool off faster. This is every parent’s dream and you can have it too.
What About You?
Are you ready for your children to respect you?
