Do You Have Good Children?
We all want our children to be good. But what does it mean to be “good”? You know what it is when you see it, but you have never learned how to teach it. A well-behaved child is a wondrous delight to be around.
I was always amazed when all of my children’s school teachers would say how delightful my children were. While I was grateful that they seemed to be “pulling it together” out in public, I wondered why I didn’t have the same experience.
How I Created Disrespectful Children
On one hand, I felt great that I had created a safe environment where my children felt that they could test out crazy behaviors, but I was exhausted. I finally realized that my children just didn’t respect me the same way they respected their teachers and the school principal, and I knew I had created this disrespect.
Your child presents you with behaviors every day. The behaviors that you don’t stop, the child interprets as allowable. You silently gave permission to all of the behaviors your child is currently exhibiting.
What The Experts Say
Many psychologists teach, “catch them when they’re being good and reward them with verbal praise.” We did that, but the bad behaviors were outweighing the good. Since we were spending more time trying to stop the bad behaviors with consequences, it felt like a losing battle.
The Experts Were Wrong!
Many of you have probably heard of the Law of Attraction, which is defined as “Like attracts Like,” and “What you focus on, expands.” Cory and I were spending all of our time focusing on limiting bad behavior, stopping bad behavior, how to get rid of bad behavior, time-outs for bad behavior, etc. Even though we were focused on stopping it, the nature of focusing on bad behavior made it expand.
And when you multiply that times four children all misbehaving at the same time, and the fact that parenting is a 24/7 job for moms, I was starting to really hate being a Mom. I didn’t like my children anymore—I loved them—but I didn’t want to be with them anymore. Something had to change and I decided I deserved the same respect that my children gave their teachers. And you do too.
I was exhausted. I was frustrated. I needed my children to respect me. I needed to stop yelling. This is why I created Easy As Pie. I did the complete opposite of what the experts recommended, and it worked.
Photo: http://tinyurl.com/TheSwedish
Has the advise of experts frustrated you? I’d love to hear your stories! Comment below..
